My Sex Addiction Recovery in S.L.A.A.
I can remember the feeling of my heart falling when my boss called me and told me the IT department had found porn on my laptop. I had handed my old laptop in and IT had transferred files over to my new laptop. I had been working in IT and technology for years and always thought I had covered my tracks. But not this time.
That night I can remember the panic and fear I experienced all night as I slept beside my then girlfriend, now wife. In the next few weeks I ran the gamut of our internal disciplinary procedure and somehow managed to retain my job. I decided on good advice to take an honest approach with HR but in hindsight it was guardedly honest. I never revealed to them the extent of my porn use.
Over my whole life, I have used soft and hardcore porn from sex shops and the internet. I had collections of pornographic images burned onto CDs; the latest collection ran to about 7000 images. I say "latest", as of course I had made repeated, futile attempts to stop and move on from it. It affected, of course, my sexual life and also my emotional life. It affected relationships. It affected how I saw myself. But in the midst of addiction, I did not see this.
Is it an addiction? There are those who say "rubbish". But I can only attest at how pervasive it was, and also how difficult it was to stop. That, I think, is a good measure of an addiction. I joined S.L.A.A. shortly after the disciplinary procedure and it has taken me almost 18 months to get on top of the addiction. I can honestly say, that without the support of the S.L.A.A. fellowship and my sponsor and working the "12 steps", I would not have made it.
J. Dublin Ireland
That night I can remember the panic and fear I experienced all night as I slept beside my then girlfriend, now wife. In the next few weeks I ran the gamut of our internal disciplinary procedure and somehow managed to retain my job. I decided on good advice to take an honest approach with HR but in hindsight it was guardedly honest. I never revealed to them the extent of my porn use.
Over my whole life, I have used soft and hardcore porn from sex shops and the internet. I had collections of pornographic images burned onto CDs; the latest collection ran to about 7000 images. I say "latest", as of course I had made repeated, futile attempts to stop and move on from it. It affected, of course, my sexual life and also my emotional life. It affected relationships. It affected how I saw myself. But in the midst of addiction, I did not see this.
Is it an addiction? There are those who say "rubbish". But I can only attest at how pervasive it was, and also how difficult it was to stop. That, I think, is a good measure of an addiction. I joined S.L.A.A. shortly after the disciplinary procedure and it has taken me almost 18 months to get on top of the addiction. I can honestly say, that without the support of the S.L.A.A. fellowship and my sponsor and working the "12 steps", I would not have made it.
J. Dublin Ireland
